"Genuine" listening is a human relations skill that can improve not only your professional reputation but your life as well. It will enhance your image as a leader, letting you be known as a caring, courteous, and thoughtful person. You will find a wide range of people from your organization, not just those in your immediate sphere of influence, seeking your sage advice and counsel.
How can such a simple concept be so powerful? Genuine listening fulfills several human needs at once. It communicates your respect for, and desire to hear another's thoughts and opinions. They also feel more connected to you as a person who values their judgment. And it lets them hear the sweetest sound they know, that of their own voice.
However, genuine listening is not an easy concept to master. Remember that the goal is to communicate well and hear the "complete" message. Therefore, it is not just about hearing, but also about seeing, sensing, and feeling what the other person is attempting to communicate. Watch the body language, tone and inflection, overall attitude and emotion, and anything else that can provide clues to the deeper context of the message. At the same time make sure that your nonverbal communication sends the proper signals. Pay attention, don't be distracted or let outside influences interrupt the conversation. Make eye contact and listen patiently with an open mind. Focus on what is being said and analyze it clearly so as to prepare to respond as necessary.
Do not feel compelled to respond to every comment or to jump in and fill the silence with commentary. Let the other person complete their thoughts and take the time to evaluate and consider what was said. Extended silence will give you an air of seriousness and contemplation as well as giving you time form complete thoughts as a reply. Silence can also draw others out causing them to elaborate and volunteer more information.
When responding, reflective questioning can prove your attentiveness and works to draw out and clarify the other person's opinions. Ask "open-ended" questions that provide the opportunity for more elaboration. This proves you have been attentive and also shows how much you value the discussion.
Lastly, acknowledge the message. Don't be satisfied with the first comments made but strive to more completely understand where the other person's viewpoint lies. Responding with simple comments and audible clues such as "I see", Hmm, or "Really?", solicit a response and the opportunity to hear more details and gain more insight.
Genuine listening will not only increase your stock as a leader in the world of business but can also show your loved ones how much you really care. Pause for a moment and consider just how many family disputes in some way involve someone feeling uncared for or ignored. Whether it is a parent, child, or a spouse, the phrase "you don't listen" is more common than we like to admit. To those you love, genuine listening may not show leadership, but it will certainly show how much you deeply and truly care.
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