Charisma , does anything else matter ?

Leadership books, blogs, and websites are a dime a dozen, yes, I know what this implies about this humble site.  Each one purports to hold the keys to the kingdom, leadership secrets that can catapult the average Joe from manager to leader in a few steps.  So, can we really all be right, or do we resist discussing the fear that maybe leaders are born, maybe there is no formula, maybe personality and good genes trump all else. 

Personally, I'm still betting that leadership is an acquired skill that can be improved and honed with time and practice. But its hard to resist a good deal of evidence that may indicate otherwise.  Honestly, for every trait that is claimed to be critical, I can find an acknowledged, world class leader who lacks the desire skill and in fact may represent just the opposite.

Really, do you think George Patton thought "Patience" was a virtue? Did Samuel Adams make a habit of using "Listening" skills while terrorizing the British? Can anybody legitimately claim Napoleon as an example of the "Servant Leader"?  Peter Drucker, the 20th Century's greatest management thinker, once said, “Leadership is all hype. We’ve had three great leaders in this century – Hitler, Stalin, and Mao.” Where is the humble, consensus builder in that group?

My point is simple, in the universe of so called critical leadership skills, I can only find three that are hard to dismiss by counter-example; persistence, boldness, and charisma. Since I've covered the first two to some degree already, I wanna concentrate on the third, Charisma, and by this I mean that charming personal magnetism; or the lantern-jawed, cigar-chomping, power-radiating um pah.  The sort of feeling that makes followers willing to walk through a brick wall if called upon.  Its just not fashionable to speak much of this in the modern management world, but that doesn't make it go away.  Great leaders have it, always.

So what do you do if you are the up and coming manager, persistent, willing to work long hours, patient and team building with all, but you just don't project that image of the fire in the belly leader?  No matter what you try, your team leaves meetings meditative, ready to work, but just walking, not running out of the tunnel cheering.  Well, unfortunately I don't have a charisma magic bullet, but I can suggest two important attitudes that if embraced, can only help.

First, you just have to have a deep desire to connect with and lead people.  Great leader are not half-hearted types, all the great ones burned with the desire to lead.  Work on connecting with people, obsessively communicate about your desires for them and for your team.  Make sure that every person you touch knows you care about where the ship is going and that you care that all aboard succeed.

Next, put yourself "out there".  Meaning, shrinking violets need not apply, be willing to be seen, heard, examined, and cross-examined.  Charismatic people draw people to them, and a big part of that draw is the willingness to take a chance, and clearly let everyone know where we stand.

You can still be an excellent manager, and solid leader, without possessing the charm of a Sean Connery, or the commanding presense of Margaret Thatcher, but at least consider paying some attention to charisma.  It can only help, not only in your professional world, but in your private one as well.

Egypt's Second Revolution, Not a Democratic Leader in sight

As thousands of protesters return to Tahir Square and proclaim that the "Egyptian revolution is not over", it appears that the lack of a unifying leadership figure for the movement may doom the average Egyptians' hope for a truly democratic, liberty loving future.

The Muslim Brotherhood, Egypt's best organized political force, is opposing a renewal of protests, throwing in with the military and urging patience as plans for a September election proceed.  They stand to make major gains in this election as they are the most organized political group remaining.  The Brotherhood, with a huge network of social services and supporters, hopes to emerge from any parliamentary election with control of the country. 

Resisting this, four liberal and secular groups called for postponing the September elections, and drafting basic principles that guarantee that Egypt is a civil state and ending military tribunals. This reflects worries of many political groups that the Brotherhood is poised to win a big portion of any parliament.

As I said in my February blog, the military does have long to show a clear reformist agenda.  But, without clear leadership, the protesters leave a gaping hole that is just waiting to be filled.  My guess is this role will indeed be filled by the Brotherhood.  It is unfortunate because the Brotherhood will not provide the leadership that the protesters crave, but represent what is essentially a totalitarian organization with dreams of power.

When it comes to revolutions, though they may snowball as movements of popular unrest, with grandiose goals and designs, strong leadership must assert itself if the ultimate aims of the revolutionaries are to be realized.  Leaders can unify the people and give a voice to their needs and concerns. Leaders can bring a cohesiveness to otherwise fractured groups and map a way forward that focuses the energy of the people.

For the average Egyptian I hope a real, Liberty loving leader emerges, but I suspect that the Muslim Brotherhood is to well organized and entrenched to be denied.

Competence ... Build your reputation

Leaders need to project an air of competence, their team must be able to have faith that the person running the show is a knowledgeable problem solver who won't run from a challenge and leave them holding the bag. 

Actually, as I write this, what I have said is not strong enough. Leaders need to BE competent. You don't have to be the smartest guy or gal in the room, but you have to know your stuff.  Your followers must be actively wanting your opinion, needing to hear your take on things, valuing what you have to say. 

Don't confuse "competence" and "expert".  You don't have to have encyclopedic knowledge, but you do need to demonstrate a grasp of the general knowledge of the things that help drive the team.  Patton was a good soldier before he became a great general.  But, he wasn't an expert at every weapon he wielded, he was, however, very knowledgeable at how to use them. 

The other thing about competence in a leader is that once you have earned the reputation for competence, people will give more heed to your opinion even in areas about which you know very little.  This isn't always a good thing, but it is a fact.  If you doubt it, just think about all the movie stars who have testified before congress as an expert in some topic, based on nothing more than their fame, competence as an actor, and a role they once played.

A reputation for competence is hard fought to win, but remarkably easy to loose.  Therefore it is vital that a leader be hungry for knowledge and learning.  And not just in a narrow area, the great leaders of history, had great areas of interest.  Easier said than done, absolutely, but not impossible.  While there are many ways to stay informed nothing beats reading.  You must be well read, well versed in the details of your business, or trade.  The good thing is that our modern world makes this easier than at anytime in history. If you find it hard to dig into a book, listen to one while you commute, try the ever growing  universe of podcasts, itunes U, or any of the other opportunities for e-learning.  It can be done, but you have to be dedicated and eager to learn.

Be Bold - Dare to Lead

If there is one fundamental responsibility common to all leadership situations, it is the requirement to make decisions. Without a doubt, if you are gonna be the head honcho, you gotta be willing to pull the trigger, shoulder the burden, and be the decision maker.  Leaders can't sit back and say Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim ... you must say FIRE !!!.

 The great leaders know that there is no second guessing, no looking back, no mulligans, when the times demand it, great leaders step to the fore and get on with it. 

Think about history's greatest moments, it's the story of great men and bold decisions.  Think what you will, but "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" , embodied President Ronald Reagan's leadership in confronting the criminal dictatorial regimes of the world with truth.

General Douglas MacArthur, after retreating from a disastrous defeat in the Philippines, uttered the famous promise, "I shall return".  That bold statement encapsulated America's resolve in the Pacific, that we would succeed and emerge victorious.

Winston Churchill, perhaps the 20th Century's greatest leader, boldly decided that Britain would say no to the Germans...

"We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,
we shall fight on the seas and oceans,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never surrender"

Churchill decided for himself and the British people, that even in the face of one German victory after another, that there would be no negotiation, no half measures, nothing but victory would suffice.

This is the stuff of great leadership.  Nations, teams, people of all stripes, are capable of great things when they have a bold leader with a bold vision to follow.

Most people get one crack at leadership, don't waste yours with half measures and timid goals.  Push the envelope, push yourself and your team to give their best, and you'll be amazed at what can be accomplished.

Persistence Pays

Make no mistake about it, being good a great leader is hard work.  You can't let your guard down, you can't get discouraged, you can't give up, and you can't let them see you sweat.  It all comes down to persistence.  Great leaders expect their team to push hard to succeed, and great teams expect a leader who demonstrates dogged determination in even the most trying circumstances.

Persistence is the willingness to maintain focus and purse your goals in spite of obstacles, the ability to keep reaching for the next rung on the ladder no matter how worn out you are, the realization that success is not always the express elevator or the rose petaled path.  The leader who can remain resolute fuels the fire that drives the team.  Determination is contagious and teams will strive for great heights as long as they know their leader is there with them, ready to offer a hand up when the going gets tough.

Perhaps the best leaders are those who master the "Anyways" from "The Paradoxical Commandments" by Dr. Kent M. Keith


People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honestry and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Master the Anyways and your team will follow you through thick and thin.

The Vision Thing

Without a doubt the "vision" thing is one of the most mentioned leadership characteristics.  This is for good reason since I have yet to meet the successful leader who doesn't possess a strong idea of where he's going,and how he'll get there.  This picture of the future is typically somewhat simplistic, easy to communicate, and something that transcends just numbers, but rather envisions greater and perhaps even nobler goals.

For the best leaders the vision is a part of them, a connection to how they view the organization, themselves, and the world around them. This internalization allows them to be communicating the vision not just by words, but by deeds, and in their daily interactions with the team.  The vision compels them to act and provides a guidepost to measure all of their actions and the teams actions against.  When clearly communicated, it can give the team confidence to take the reins and push forward.

Similarly, poorly communicated visions, or visions that are more lip service than heart felt, can damage a team's effectiveness.  The disingenuous leader not only fails to inspire but can generate a debilatating lack of trust that holds the team back.

Therefore, as the leader, make sure you are comfortable about your own true intentions, your own vision.  Then communicate, communicate, communicate! Talk the vision, use the vision to guide your decisions, and take every opportunity you can to reinforce the vision with your team.  Most of all, recognize and praise those who get it, the ones who act on the vision and use it to steer their actions.  This more than anything else will prove you are "real" and will emergize the team to action and high performance.

Egypt's Revolution without a Leader

The demands for political reform sweeping across the Middle East are characterized by a lack of centralized command and control.  The protests appear to have spontaneously erupted from a background of simmering unrest but lack the organizing influence of a clearly identifiable  leader.

Therefore it is not surprising that numerous groups are suddenly jockeying for position in Egypt hoping to emerge with the reigns of power firmly in their hands. It is also not surprising that the Egyptian Army has, for the moment at least, consolidated the functions of governing under its authority.

Despite being strongly anti-reformist the generals who now run Egypt positioned the military as friends of the people.  They took immediate steps to curb abuses by the police state authorities and had military personnel mingling with the throngs of protesters even as they monitored them.  Thus the army established itself the sole governing agency with the people's best interests at heart.  And as with all groups, leaders are selected or emerge because they are viewed as having views, desires, wishes, and dreams that identify and connect well with the group.  Deposing Hosni Mubarak made the military instant heroes of the people.

But the next trick will be much harder.  The revolutionary's didn't pour into the streets fighting to displace one dictator with another. And now, with each passing day, opposition groups such as the Muslim Brotherhood, continue to build a case showing that the people's best interests lay somewhere other than with Field Marshal Mohamad Tantawi, the head of the Egyptian Higher Military Council. It is an easy bet that although the army insists it will hand power to civilians soon, it won't be until they are sure they can hang on to the lucrative privileges and wealth they have amassed after decades of authoritarian rule.

Thus, absent a popular leadership figure, don't count on a long honeymoon for the military.  As time wears on, expect more and more friction to grow between protesters and soldiers and if the generals feel threatened enough, expect a fresh outbreak of violence much worse than anything seen thus far.

In fact, absent a leader who can assure that the needs of each side can be met, its hard to envision a calm and peaceful end to this historic event.

Harvey and Elwood

Have you every seen Harvey??

If you have, I hope you enjoy it as much as me, and if not, please do. Its a wonderful film, an uplifting comedy.

The story is that of Elwood P. Dowd, played by Jimmy Stewart, an eccentric man of means, whose best friend is an invisible 6 foot 3 1/2 inch tall rabbit named Harvey.  Harvey is a pooka, a mischievous mythological Celtic creature.  Elwood is a cheerfully pleasant gentleman who takes great pleasure in helping those around him.  While Elwood's sister tries to commit him to a mental institution, Harvey and Elwood help those around them in one comedic situation after another.

So what's Harvey got to do with leadership? I'm not sure, but I know it has a lot to do with life.

So far my blog has covered

Patience
 Listening
  Enthusiasm
   Accountability
     Self-Mastery
       Asking of others
         Never Settling
           Thanking the team

And all that adds up to PLEASANT.  No, leadership isn't about being pleasant, sometimes it can end up being downright unpleasant. But that doesn't mean that a leader can't aspire to better things.  Having a generally bright, optimistic, and pleasant demeanor makes for better leadership.  It gives the team an example to live up to, and it helps push the biggest team killer, fear, off the stage.

It also makes for a better life at work and at home.  Pleasant people are approachable people, pleasant people lift the spirits of those around them, and pleasant people can often shed a new light on the most difficult situations. The thing that always strikes me about Harvey is how Elwood and Harvey touch the lives of all they meet, mostly in simple ways, and yet in lasting ways.

Near the end of the movie Elwood gives a very succinct picture of his life philosophy :

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" -- she always called me Elwood -- "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant."  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

If only more of us held this view, just think of what we could accomplish!

Thank You - the 2 most important words

Taking time to say "Thank You" to your team often and sincerely, is essential to superior leadership.  Face it, no man is an island, no man can go it alone in the business world, and therefore your success is dependent upon the successfulness of your team.  If you aren't thankful for their efforts, you need to reconsider how you got where you are, and how you can get to where you want to be.  A simple Thank You sends multiple messages, it shows your appreciation, it shows your respect, and it shows you care. Your team deserves a periodic pat on the back and woe to the leader who takes his team for granted.

The thank you can be delivered in a variety of ways.  Its always best to deliver it quick and in the moment if possible.  Anything from a handshake,  to the quick handwritten note, can, with a small expression of gratitude, make a significant difference.  There's nothing wrong with a quick email, flowers, the favorite snack, or a nice lunch either.  The main thing is to make it timely, make it clear, and personalize it.

So, as is so often said, practice makes perfect.  Dedicate yourself right here and now, find two people doing a good job each day, and tell them about it.  Say "Thanks", it'll make their day, and it makes you feel good too.

People love a grateful leader and are grateful in return.

Never Settle

It is not possible to truly succeed as a leader if you are willing to "settle".  When you settle, the decision to accept less than what is required, desired, or planned for is made.  This is nothing less than deciding to fail, its saying that whatever the goals or targets were, they are not worth my time and energy to work towards.  

Team members are very adept at recognizing a leader who lacks the inner drive to succeed, and once this is found out, why will the team push for a goal when they know that the person in charge will accept less.  Finding the inner strength to keep pushing one's self, and one's team, is a key ingredient to building an accomplishment driven mind set.


Establishing your credentials as the leader means showing a willingness to do what it takes to get the job done, not just sometimes, but every time.  It also means having the strength to push your team, to hold that same high level of accountability for them as well. This is not as easy as it might appear for as the leader you must take the time draw out the best your team has.  It may mean cajoling them when their confidence waivers, pushing them when they want to throw in the towel, and reminding them of their strengths when their hope is flagging.  Every good coach knows that  players must be held to high expectations and then regularly reminded of  their abilities to reach those goals and more. 


Have the drive to push for your dreams, and not to settle for less than you deserve.  When the team feels this force within you, it will fuel their desire for success.


Remember:


The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
-Maureen Dowd

Ask and ye shall receive

Managers, Supervisors, and Executives who struggle to build effective relationships often have trouble with a specific personality trait, they tend to be "tellers" or "commanders", not "askers".  Tellers have a difficult time interacting with people and are ineffective communicators.  They regularly demonstrate poor listening skills and deal poorly with feedback.

Becoming the best leader possible requires the ability to be a sincere "asker".

ASK for opinions...People love to feel important, to feel respected, and to feel needed.  Seeking their opinion, their wise council, speaks to that need.  It also helps to engage the shy or reclusive, and forces the most ardent critics to put up or shut up.

ASK for ideas...This alone opens up worlds of knowledge most vast than your own experiences. Different perspectives leverage the team's abilities and speeds up the improvement process.

ASK questions ... Don't let superficial participation stand unchallenged.  Question the team, draw out the reluctant thoughts, press past the surface and get to the root of peoples thoughts and emotions.   And show that you don't have all the answers, nor do you want to!

ASK for help... This isn't a sign of weakness, its a sign of trust.  Nothing breeds engagement more than showing others that you trust them enough to approach them in a time of need.

And remember that asking for feedback, means that you must listen to what you are being told.  It doesn't mean that all advice need be taken, but it does require that you devote your full attention and consideration to the discussion.

Self-Mastery

The best leaders are thoroughly comfortable in their own skin.  They have developed an understanding and perspective about themselves that allows them to accept each day and all of the challenges that it brings as an opportunity to improve and grow.  They have mastered the four "Self's".

Self-awareness
Self-control
Self-management
Self-development 

Self-awareness is the ability to clearly and honestly assess your own strengths and weaknesses, drivers, passions, values, and persona or style. Since no person's personality is etched in stone, it is also the willingness to continually reflect upon one's self and to react to what you see.  Having this clarity in your life makes it easy to communicate your priorities and perspective to your team.

Self-control is the ability and desire to consistently be the "island of calm" in a stormy world.  Patience, empathy, discipline, and respect are the skills that added together project self-control.  Remember that this isn't just about verbal communication, but also about controlling your look, mood, and non-verbal cues as well.

Self-management involves constant reflection upon your personal skill set.  How effectively you delegate, take initiative, hold yourself and others accountable, goal set, and your general overall wellness. Reflecting on your world view gives you the opportunity to make adjustments and improve day after day.

Self-development is the ability to sustain the three attributes above.  Lots of people have done one or more of the selfs, but for true leaders it is an everyday thing.  As with most things in life, starting is hard, finishing is harder still, but sustaining it day after day takes dedication.

Leaders who have mastered the self's have a positive aura that people feel almost instantly, call it confidence, charisma, charm, or whatever you like, Self-Mastery allows you to build a team of willing followers.

Accountability for All

Strong leaders gain the trust of their team by being accountable, responsible, and dependable. Being accountable means having the unwavering willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions.  However, as a leader you must not only be accountable for yourself but you must be willing to consistently and fairly hold all the team members accountable as well.

Good leadership is demonstrated by refusing to shift blame when problems arise, it means admitting when mistakes are made and taking steps to correct one's short comings.  Accountability also means supporting your team when things don't go as planned.  Singling out a scapegoat, "throwing a team member under the bus", will utterly destroy any semblance of teamwork and ruin any hope you have of leading effectively.  If the group knows you are there for them, they are much more likely to be there for you. 

Similarly your subordinates must be held accountable.  As the leader you must find effective methods for monitoring the teams status. Having this ability will allow you to monitor their progress from a distance and wisely choose the moments when your input is vital.  There must also be a steadfast willingness to hold people uniformly accountable.  Playing favorites, or even remotely giving the appearance of having unequal standards for different team members, will also dash a team upon the rocks and kill their chance of success. 

In this case it helps greatly to remember a few simple rules.

Don't allow the use of vague, unmeasurable words when discussing action plans.  Words and phrases such as "I'll try", "as soon as possible", "I'll do my best", and "by the end of the week" are unacceptable.  Lead with details, when reviewing performance and making plans, stick to details, not platitudes.  When discussing group actions look for the Who, What, Why, Where, When, and How's. Nobody should ever get off the hook, the plan should always include:

Who's responsible,

    What the goal is,

         Why its necessary,

             Where the activities take place,

                 And How it will be accomplished - the necessary steps

Its best to remember the great Yoda, "There is no try, do or do not".

It can't be much more straight forward than that.

Enthusiasm is Contagious

Its important to remember that there are many successful leadership styles and not all styles are suitable for all organizations.  Military demeanors don't always translate well to the private sector just as not all business leaders would find success as the coach of a basketball or football team.  Similarly the leader of a prison gang may not possess skills that would be found in the leader of a non-profit organization.

However, some traits appear to be universally present in the greatest of leaders.  Prominent among these is zeal or enthusiasm.  No matter how you slice it leaders don't get far without it.  It may not always be a positive, bubbly zeal, but call it enthusiasm, drive, or determination, when present in the leader it will spread rapidly through a team.  People are naturally attached to the energy that enthusiasm projects.  This sense of energy drives people and teams to higher and higher levels of effort and achievement.

Soooooo... just how and in heck do you get it?  Most leadership guides will tell you to love what you do and it will come naturally.  Of course, that is clearly the easiest and most direct way, but even then no job or task is ever totally infused with things we love.  Players may love the games but hate the practices, doctors may love helping people but hate the paperwork, its a part of life that with the good there is also the bad.  However, being mindful of some simple concepts can fuel your own enthusiasm and that of your team.

Present a positive outlook.  Looking for negatives is easy, critics are easy to find.  The leader is the one who knows that success is attainable, and who digs in the hardest when the going is toughest.  Help your team look for the "here's how we'll make it happen" rather then making the list of why "it can never happen".

Live and lead with passion.  Leaders want to be leaders, whether they know it or not.  They get out in front and eagerly push the envelope.  Passion is easy to spot but not always easy to achieve, but just by remembering how important it is you can find your way to becoming "passionate about passion".

Above all else, perseverance.  No one is perfect, and no leader is either.  For all the times things are going great, there will be not so great times as well.  Never dwell on the failures, examine them, vow to not repeat them, but don't become engrossed in them.  Make yourself and your team push on, people follow the one who refuses to give up!

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Listen to Lead

"Genuine" listening is a human relations skill that can improve not only your professional reputation but your life as well.  It will enhance your image as a leader, letting you be known as a caring, courteous, and thoughtful person.  You will find a wide range of people from your organization, not just those in your immediate sphere of influence, seeking your sage advice and counsel.

How can such a simple concept be so powerful?  Genuine listening fulfills several human needs at once.  It communicates your respect for, and desire to hear another's thoughts and opinions.   They also feel more connected to you as a  person who values their judgment.  And it lets them hear the sweetest sound they know, that of their own voice.

However, genuine listening is not an easy concept to master.  Remember that the goal is to communicate well and hear the "complete" message.  Therefore, it is not just about hearing, but also about seeing, sensing, and feeling what the other person is attempting to communicate.  Watch the body language, tone and inflection, overall attitude and emotion, and anything else that can provide clues to the deeper context of the message.  At the same time make sure that your nonverbal communication sends the proper signals.  Pay attention, don't be distracted or let outside influences interrupt the conversation.  Make eye contact and listen patiently with an open mind.  Focus on what is being said and analyze it clearly so as to prepare to respond as necessary.

Do not feel compelled to respond to every comment or to jump in and fill the silence with commentary.  Let the other person complete their thoughts and take the time to evaluate and consider what was said.  Extended silence will give you an air of seriousness and contemplation as well as giving you time form complete thoughts as a reply.  Silence can also draw others out causing them to elaborate and volunteer more information.

When responding, reflective questioning can prove your attentiveness and works to draw out and clarify the other person's opinions.  Ask "open-ended" questions that provide the opportunity for more elaboration.  This proves you have been attentive and also shows how much you value the discussion.

Lastly, acknowledge the message.  Don't be satisfied with the first comments made but strive to more completely understand where the other person's viewpoint lies.  Responding with  simple comments and audible clues such as  "I see", Hmm, or "Really?", solicit a response and the opportunity to hear more details and gain more insight.

Genuine listening will not only increase your stock as a leader in the world of business but can also show your loved ones how much you really care.  Pause for a moment and consider just how many family disputes in some way involve someone feeling uncared for or ignored.  Whether it is a parent, child, or a spouse, the phrase "you don't listen" is more common than we like to admit.  To those you love, genuine listening may not show leadership, but it will certainly show how much you deeply and truly care.

Patience Is A Virtue (Part 2)

I would be remiss if I didn't follow up the last essay with a quick comment.  Practicing deliberative thinking and maintaining a calm demeanor in all your day to day interactions is the best way to earn a reputation as a strong leader and a person to be reckoned with.  Remember that the key is to be patient at all times and in all things.

This is especially important when dealing with difficult people.  We all know how easy it is to get exasperated, frustrated, and blurt out some comment that we come to regret.  In these situations, always take the time to think things through and to carefully consider your words before speaking.  While this may lead to long pauses, don't worry, these just add to air of a contemplative mind at work.  And it allows you maintain control of your emotions while considering what is being said and what your best options are for moving forward.  Resist the urge to react and decide quickly, 9 times out of 10, the pressure to react is a self-imposed one. When in doubt, when you are frustrated, when you are overwhelmed, draw back, slow the train down, and think.  A patient approach always helps the decision making process, and projects the image of a strong willed person at the helm.

Also don't be afraid to table a difficult matter for some period of time, be it a few minutes, hours, or days.  Letting issues move off the front burner gives your subconscious time to mull things over.  It also gives you a chance to come back to a problem with a fresh set of eyes.  

One last thing, in a difficult conversation or situation, ask three questions of yourself before you let your lips move:
                        Is what I want to say true?
                        Is it kind?
                             Is it necessary?
                                   If not, let it be left unsaid.

While this may not always be practical, its one heck of a good way to approach things!
[The three questions are not an original thought, you might call them my Mom's advice, but I'll be darned if I know where she picked them up]
          


 

Patience Is A Virtue

In our increasingly fast paced world there is constant pressure to move quickly, respond quickly, react quickly, and decide quickly.  The sense is one of "Go, Go, Go".
However, if you consider leaders of note, the one's people look up to, you will find an ability to "Keep one's head, when those around you are loosing their's".
Demonstrating the ability to face any situation with careful consideration will help your team perform in the most difficult situations and will give others cause to look to you for guidance.
Achieving a reputation for patience doesn't require Zen like powers of mind control, but does require the application of a few simple principles.  Always remember, in the business world it is the very rare situation that demands split second decisions and actions.

When facing any important decision or crisis take the time to understand the situation and establish the facts.  Look at the total landscape surrounding the issue and establish the key, relevant details. Remember during trying times, your team will be just as anxious as you.  Therefore it is vital to remain open and accessible while soliciting their help in expanding the knowledge base.
As more information becomes available, carefully evaluate it in relation to your organization's mission and goals. Keeping these in mind allows you to maintain a clear focus on what's important.  Constantly having a "steadfast application to a fixed aim" , this consistency to the mission, will establish you as a leader of thoughtfulness and patience.
Maintaining this fixed aim, review and evaluate all the information / facts, taking care to consider all aspects of the matter at hand.  A deliberative manner in accessing the available information adds to the team's effectiveness and willingness to be lead.  People don't line up behind the hand-wringer or the panicking loud mouth for direction and answers, they look to those who can remain calm under fire.

Once the information is analyzed, the temptation will be strong to take the reins, be the leader, and do something, anything, to show action is being taken.  DON"T do it!!  This is by far the worst thing one can do. Facts in hand, true leadership consists of taking the time to prepare a Plan of Action.
The key to planning well is to establish objectives that are specific, measurable, realistic, and tangible.  Continued attention to aligning the objectives with the organization's long-term goals, mission, and commitments cannot be overstated.  Demonstrating a dogged determination to these core principles instills your team with confidence in you as a leader.  It allows them to know that by focusing on the values themselves, not only will they be acting in the best interest of the organization, but they will be acting in unity with you!  As much as possible, involve the team in the planning process.  This is not only central to good problem solving, but it also develops support within the group for what needs to be done.  Having input boosts the team's confidence in the plan and the leader.
When developing the plan, recognition of potential roadblocks and obstacles is essential.  As the pitfalls are enumerated, possible counter-measures and solutions should be identified. This listing of "points and counter-points" should diligently and thoroughly addressed.  Actively identifying weaknesses early in the game is another key business leadership trait.
Last but not least, list the action steps needed to execute the plan.  These steps should explicitly assign responsibilities and timing.  A reluctance to "make people responsible" can doom you to fail.  As the leader, holding people accountable is one of your most important actions; fairly, consistently, and patiently doing this will give you your best chance for success.

Once the planning is complete, clearly communicate all aspects of the plan to the team.  Repeatedly emphasize each members' roles, duties, and performance expectations.  Voice your confidence in them, and your commitment to success.
Then comes the most difficult task of all:

               Put the plan in motion and have the patience to let it work.

Clearly a leader must monitor progress and make course corrections at times, but resist the urge to over analyze or micro-manage.  Trust the people and trust the process, only step in when you are sure something has changed which is outside of the original considerations that went into the planning steps. When making any change don't assume anything, communicate the when's, why's, and what's of any change to the entire team, respect their need to know and understand, and they will respect you.

So, this sounds like a long, exhaustive, and involved process, no wonder you have to be patient.  Well, consider this, the time needed maybe 10 minutes, 10 hours, or 10 days.  The situation will dictate the response.  Just remember that short of life or death predicaments, snap judgments are rarely warranted.  Be patient when accessing your options, and you will earn a reputation as a clear thinking, calm, and thoughtful leader... Who could ask for more?